Guide to Sex Positions and Beyond

Finding the ultimate sex position is one of the most sought after pieces of information for couples. Which position is the most exciting? Which will give me the most intense orgasm? Will satisfy my kinky side? Which will my lover enjoy most? I think I have a huge butt, so which position should I avoid? In order to help you figure out which ones will spice up your sex life, I’ve devised a little guide of the sex positions most people get into. We’ll discuss what each one is and how both partners benefit from it and how a little variation can spice them up. So enough of my babbling, let’s get into position!

Woman on Top

The most common version of the woman on top position is with the man lying flat on his back while the woman kneels down and straddles him, with her knees on either side of his hips. The man has the ability to rest here while the woman takes control. What’s really nice about the woman being on top is that most men are very visual creatures, they love to see what’s going on and there’s a whole lot for him to see from this point of view. Now that he’s not so busy doing all the work, he has time and free hands for other things like fondling his lovers breasts, clitoris or even ass, which is greatly appreciated. Plus, when the man is enjoying watching the lady, she feels so sexy and the show gets even sexier.

This is also great for the woman because she has total control over how deeply, how intensely and how hard she is penetrated. We women of the new millennium like control.  She can further control the focus of stimulation by leaning forward or backward. If the guy is lying on his back, leaning forward allows her to really grind up against her man, getting that all important clit stimulation. Leaning backward decreases how deeply she is penetrated. The further back she leans, the lesser the depth.

She also has the option of being dominant, holding her lover’s arms down while riding him. He wants so badly to touch her, but he can’t, when will she let go? That kind of thing. Plus, the all important eye contact and kiss ability are here as well. (I love makin out!) And if the lady looks her guy directly in the eyes while she rides him and tells him how great his cock feels, he’ll be putty in her hands.

Reverse Cowgirl

If you get a vibrating penis ring, you’ll add an incredible amount of spice to this position. As the lady rubs and grinds up against her man, she’ll get delicious vibrations on her clit. It’s amazing. Plus the guy gets to feel vibrations as well, which I’ve heard are pretty damn enjoyable.

The woman can also straddle her partner the same way, but backwards, facing away from her lover, the Reverse Cowgirl. This is very stimulating for the man, because the more the woman bends forward towards her lover’s toes, her pussy and ass are totally exposed for him to see. And if the woman is into a little anal play, the man can reach up and tickle or lightly rub her anus. But most importantly, there is more pressure put on the penis which is added pleasure for him.

Woman on Top doesn’t mean the man is always laying down, have him sit on the couch or a chair and straddle him that way. You’ll both be super close when facing each other. And add some variety by reverse cowgirl-ing it too.

Rear Entry or “Doggie Style”

Rear Entry position is when the man penetrates the woman’s vagina from behind. There’s a few important physical reasons why women love doing it doggie style. First, this position allows for deep penetration. The more a woman angles the upper portion of her body down, the deeper she can be penetrated and the g-spot may even get tapped by the thrusting of the penis, which is divine for some.

Clit stimulation is possible by both partners here. The man can reach down, while thrusting, and rub her clit and massage her vulva. Or if the woman prefers, she can reach down and rub herself. This is also a great position to introduce vibrators. If the woman is a little shy about using a vibrator in front of her lover, this position is perfect because the man isn’t staring down at her. Plus, it so easily allows for vibrator use because there’s no way the vibrator is going to get in the way of intercourse. You can use something small like the Pocket Rocket. However, this position also allows you to use something with a little more heft to it like the Magic Wand since your clit is totally exposed and available.


But those are not the only reasons women like the rear entry position. Besides physical pleasure, there’s also mental stimulation that women get off on. In this position, it’s very easy to create a scenario of being taken by their lover. There’s this animalistic, I’m going to grab you and fuck you, sort of excitement to it. As the lady is on her knees leaning over, the man can hold her hands behind her back restraining her. He can also smack her ass and pull her hair.

Men are very visual creatures, so this position gives him some very exciting views. He has a great view of his penis thrusting in and out of her vagina. He also has a very nice view of her exposed ass and by simply tilting his head to the right or left, he can also see the her swinging breasts, which for a boobs man, is really hot.

It’s also an alternative to anal intercourse, so maybe the lady doesn’t want a cock in her ass, but a finger rubbing her anus or holding a little vibrator there or even a finger in her ass is acceptable. This is a great position to easily make that happen and it’s really freakin’ hot too.

Now, if the woman finds this position is difficult to comfortably stay in, she can put a bunch of pillows under her head and chest, which should allow her to stay in the position as long as she’d like. Play with pillow amount and location under her body because she can make it so that her legs are completely spread, her butt is raised up in the air and her bits are totally exposed and available for the taking. The more you put the pillows under her pelvis the better for raising her butt. This will help the guy too because it will raise her butt high enough for him so he doesn’t have to try to lean over while thrusting. And again, her bits are totally exposed for him to stare at or play with.

Some couples don’t like this position because there’s not enough intimacy. Well, it’s not as intimate as missionary, but you can still make-out and stay connected to your lover, it’s all in how you look at it. If the woman turns her head to the side and the guy leans down to her, they can kiss. But intimacy isn’t just about being able to see and smooch each other. When your lover is staring at your anus, things have gotten pretty intimate. Most people don’t get to see that part of you. Another way to keep the connection is by talking dirty to each other and you don’t have to be a wordsmith to say something that’s sexy.

A misconception about this position is that it’s demeaning to women. Some women feel like they’re giving up control and while that’s one way to look at it, that’s not how it has to be.  The man doesn’t have to be the one in control here. He doesn’t even have to be the one to do the thrusting. He can get on his knees and instead of him thrusting, she can push up against him. Then she still has all the control. This can work really well, I’ve seen guys that have had to hold on for dear life because the lady is fucking him so hard.

Do keep in mind though, that if a woman has a tipped uterus or a partner with a long penis, this position may be more uncomfortable than pleasurable because his penis will be hitting her uterus or cervix upon every thrust. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this position, the guy just has proceed with more shallow penetration.

Another little maneuver to try once the man penetrates the woman is for the woman to bring her legs together and squeeze slowly and gently. By the woman tightening her muscles she experiences more stimulation and he experiences a tighter place for thrusting.

You can also spice up this position by the lady leaning over the the arm of the couch or the bed with the guy standing behind her. She can always lift one leg up and put it on the couch/bed, that will raise her butt a bit for him and exposes her bits even more.

Man on Top

This one is by far the most common. Some think it’s old and busted, but I don’t agree. It still rocks my world because it does some have very redeeming qualities to it. First, it allows you to look at your lover. This is really great because eye contact is so important. By looking directly into your lovers eyes while being fucked or fucking is really very hot. Plus, you can both easily kiss each other without having to contort your upper bodies too much in order to reach one another and making out totally rocks.

The woman can also control how deeply she is being penetrated. The more open her legs are, the deeper the penetration can be. Plus, the more she opens her legs and the guy can get in there and lean forward, he can grind against her providing clitoral stimulation as well.

Contrary to popular belief, the missionary position does allow for direct clitoral stimulation by hands or vibrators. The woman just has to get her legs open and knees bent and if the guy is in more of a kneeling position between her legs, there’s plenty of room for hands or vibrators to get involved. Plus the guy has an amazing view of what’s going on and since he’s not leaning on his hands, they’re free to explore other parts of her body.  Again, a small vibrator can be used but there’s also enough room to incorporate something like the Magic Wand.

The only bad side to this position is that the man can get quite the workout. I find that sometimes this position can become uncomfortable for him because the guy can’t hold himself up very long, or he’s in that kneeling position too long. Sometimes the lady’s pelvis is just a little too low for him to stay for a long period of time but ladies, you can make it more comfortable for him by raising your pelvis. I’ve found pillows work, as long as they’re firm. We’ve also found the Inflatable Position Master Cushion to be helpful and the Wedge Liberator Shape makes things easier too.

Here’s a fun variation that gives the ladies some control. If he’s kneeling and your legs are open and spread wide, he can pull you up towards him so basically your butt will be on his knees. Now if you can hold the upper part of your body up with your arms, you can fuck him and he has a lovely view. It is quite a workout though.


Basically, each person positions themselves so that their mouth is near the other’s person’s genitals so everyone gets oral pleasures at the same time. The guy can be the one on the bottom or the lady can be on the bottom, it doesn’t matter. Maybe one person is better at holding themselves up than  the other and that’s the person that should be on top.

However, this sex position is not just about being on top and on bottom. The Mister and I have found this position to be enjoyable side by side as well because no one has to worry about holding themselves up for too long. I’ve also found that with side by side you can get both hands involved which is always a plus.

If you’re feeling adventurous and want to mix it up further, there’s always the Vertical Sixty Nine. Have the woman lay on her back, across the bed, with her head over the edge. The man stands astride her face, then bends over and picks her up, with her legs around his neck. Make sure you have a good grip on the woman for when either of you cum, so stay near the bed. The woman is supposed to get a really neat sensation when she reaches orgasm because her head has been upside down. Be very careful, make sure you are strong enough and fit enough to do this.

For many couples, sixty-nine is an uncomfortable position, especially when there’s an height difference between the partners. Get some pillows, firm ones, under the person’s head on the bottom and under their pelvis. That may make this position more comfortable for both because the person on top doesn’t have to lean over as much and the person on the bottom doesn’t have to try to stretch their neck up to the other person’s genitals. Play around and see what feels best for the both of you.

Side By Side


Side by Side, or “Spooning”, can be very intimate and is great for all those cuddlers out there. It allows you to be
very close to your lover. If the man faces the woman and the woman has her back towards the man, he can actually hug her as he penetrates. It really does bring cuddling and sex together at the same time. He can also fondle the lady’s breasts and even reach down and rub her clit.

I personally like this position for those early morning quickies. I mean, come on, we all have some kicking morning breath, so this allows both partners to have a nice cuddly quickie without knocking each others socks off with bad breath.

Sometimes the Spooning position doesn’t allow for the deepest penetration, so if the woman finds she’s always feeling discomfort from the other positions, this is  a good one to try. However, if she desires deep penetration, I have found it helpful as I’m laying on my side, facing away from the Mister, to also bend forward so that my body is in an almost L shape. Basically I’m sticking my ass out. By doing this, I have opened myself up more and can also push myself up against him a little easier as he penetrates me. So in this position he can thrust or I can push back on him.

Side by Side is also a great position to use a vibrator. As the lady is facing away from her man, why not get a good vibe in there so she can get some extra pleasure. Plus by making her bits vibrate, depending how strong it is, the man may also feel those vibrations to which I’ve been told are quite lovely.

So there you have it, just the tip of a very big iceberg. There are numerous ways to vary these positions and spice them up, but I hope the one thing you’ve caught on to is that it’s slight changes that can make any sex position work better for you both: the angling of the body, the bending of the legs, sitting, kneeling, adding pillows or cushions. These basic positions are at the core of all the outrageous postions in porn. So use your imagination and mix things up a bit.

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My name is Ann Andriani. Since 1999, I've helped millions of folks sort through their questions and curiosities about sex. I hope that you enjoy your stay with me and benefit from my thoughts and sex advice.