4 Steps to Find the Perfect Vibrator

With the thousands of vibrators available and all the hype surrounding each of them, shopping for one can be as difficult as finding that perfect pair of jeans that makes your ass look great.

In the 15 years that I’ve been writing and talking to ladies online about sex toys, I’ve learned that there are four main qualities that really matter and I think I’ve come up with a way of tackling this task so it’s not such pain in the ass.

Whether this is your first vibrator or your fiftieth, I hope this guide helps you spend more time getting pleasure from your new toy than shopping for it.

Which one of the the 4 P’s of Pleasure matter the most.

1. Power

When you’re sexually active, do you normally rub your clit and vulva with a hard and vigorous touch or desire that from your partner? Do you find that hands are fine in the beginning but then as you get closer to reaching orgasm, you need something extra to push you over the edge?

2. Penetration

Simply put, do you want to be fucked with this toy? When you masturbate, do you always want penetration, G-spot stimulation perhaps? Do you like penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time?

3. Portability

Will you be taking your vibe on the road? Where will you be using this toy the majority of the time? If an outlet is not an option for use focus on something battery operated or rechargeable.

4. Privacy

When you’re sexually active, how noisy are you comfortable being? Are you pushing your face into a pillow so others can’t hear your moans and screams of pleasure? Do you share your living space with other people, like children or other busy-bodies that are around all the time? While there are many items available to hide your toy away, would you be more comfortable if it didn’t look sexual or phallic?

If power matters most to you…

I’m one of those ladies that needs some intensity from my vibrator in order to reach orgasm, so having something with power is vital. Since it’s important to you too, I recommend a Massager Wand, plug-in type vibrator.

Over the past 20 years of using vibrators, nothing has been as powerful or more powerful than a plug-in. Sure they’re easily available in places like Brookstone and Sharper Image but you want to avoid those at all costs.

Most of them have a hard plastic head which will make you feel like you got beat up from all the pounding you took on your most tender bits. I’ve been there, done that and it sucks. However, there is one that does the job leaving you only basking in the glow of a glorious orgasm.

My Recommendation – The Magic Wand Original


I love power but I rarely use the Magic Wand on high because it’s just so intense. The low is powerful enough for me, unless I’ve had too much alcohol and then I’ll need the high setting for my already numb bits.

While I enjoy high tech gadgets, I’m very happy that it only comes with one switch for low and high, making it super easy to use when I’m in the throes of excitement.

The newer vibrators have all kinds of different vibration styles and they can be fun, but the constant, consistent vibrations are always the ones that bring me to a delicious orgasm.

This looks like a big toy, but I want to make clear that I don’t just use the Wand for masturabtion, but mostly during partner sex. Don’t be afraid to get it in there, it’s not too big and it feels good for the both of you.

And by the way, I’ve had the same Magic Wand for over 10 years. I’ve treated it very well and it’s not showing any signs of fading.

Power Pro Tip

While you are someone that likes power, you may find that your clit is a little sensitive in the beginning, but once you’re aroused, it’s time for full speed.

If that’s the case, hold the vibe against your pubic mound, vaginal lips, anywhere around the clit, but not directly on it.

You can also put your hand, a finger, a small towel, washcloth or even pillow between the vibe and your clit to subdue the vibrations until you’re ready to experience all it has to offer.

If penetration matters most to you…

While some ladies are satisfied with only direct clitoral stimulation during their sexual encounters, there are others that really desire the feeling of fulfillment too. That’s where these lovelies come in handy.They’ll buzz your bits inside and out.

Now this is where many would recommend a Rabbit Style vibrator because that’s what they’re designed to do.While I’ve had positive experiences with them; I don’t feel comfortable recommending one of those as THE vibrator for this category.

Over the years, I’ve been privy to just how hit and miss the rabbits really are. Just because all their parts lined up with all my parts doesn’t necessarily mean they will line up with yours and that’s the key to their success. So instead…

My Recommendation – Fun Factory Delight Vibrator


The S shape design is really rather clever. The tip of the dildo that you insert is bulbous, which feels really good upon initial insertion and once it’s all the way in, it hits your g spot.

The dildo gets slimmer towards the the middle of the vibe, which is at your vaginal entrance, and that’s a good thing because that allows the the other end to sit properly and vibrate nicely on your clit.

The Delight offers a good range of vibrations so you can start out slow and gradually build up intensity as you get closer to cumming.If I rock and apply a bit of pressure on it, I feel more g-spot stimulation.

While I mostly use the constant, consistent vibrations, you can also mix things up with other modes like escalate and pulsate.

What I like about this one the most is that the whole thing just hugs your bits and the vibrations travel nicely through the vibrator so you feel them on your clit and in your vagina.

The buttons are also in just the right place making it easy for you to operate. However, it is a technologically advanced vibrator that you’ll have to learn how to use first, but once you know it, you’re good to go.

Penetration Pro Tip

If you’re really just looking for a vibrating dildo, and the dildo size is really important, finding the best one is easier if you have an idea of what length and girth you’re comfortable taking in.

Best way to do this is to get condoms and veggies with various lengths and girths: carrot, cucumber, squash, zucchini, things like that.

Cover each with a condom and use it to masturbate. Take the measurements, length and girth, of whichever one you enjoyed the best and find a vibe or dildo that’s the closest without going too far over.

If Portability matters most to you…

While I’ll stick my big, ole Magic Wand Massager in my bag along with an extension cord, you never know how far away the outlet will be. I understand that ultimately it’s not a practical toy to travel with.

It also doesn’t give me a lot of options as to where I can play because I always need to be near an outlet. A gal’s gotta have options.

So I understand your desire for something you can easily take on the road with you or even to just have the ability to get pleasure from anywhere and everywhere.

There are lots of options in this category as vibes are getting smaller and more portable, but for me there could only be one winner.

My Recommendation – The Form 2


This is currently my absolute favorite vibrator! My Magic Wand is still plugged in by my bed, but since the Form 2 came into my life a little over a year ago, I can’t stop using it.

And the funny thing is, when it arrived my first thought was, “How the hell do I use this?” You wouldn’t think such a love affair would have blossomed.

Luckily, JimmyJane’s out there on front street about their toys and instead of just telling me how to operate the buttons in their instructions like most companies, they told me how to use it for pleasure. Yay!

If you’re looking for portability, The Form 2 is the most portable, pleasurable vibrator I’ve ever met. It’s small enough to toss in your purse.

Plus it’s really waterproof. You can submerge the whole toy underwater and it’s fine, making it usable absolutely everywhere. But there’s lots of toys that do that.

The Form 2’s unique design is where it shines so brightly. You don’t just hold it against your clit and buzz away. It embraces your clit, vibrating it and everything around it.

The experience feels really different as the vibrations feel deeper and really intense, but super smooth as well. So while the vibrations can get quite intense, it offers a very impressive range so you can start things off softly and mildly before ramping it up.

Even though it offers 4 vibration modes with 4 levels of intensity, which is good for ladies that really want to spice things up or that have ADHD when it comes to their toys, I mostly use the constant, consistent vibrations because that’s what ultimately brings me over the edge.

Generally I’m not a fan of loud vibrators, they just become annoying and even though noise factor is not a requirement in this category, I still feel the need to mention that the Form 2 is a really quiet vibrator, so you get an added bonus.

Portability Pro Tip

There’s a lot of jargon when it comes to water friendly toys, however, if you’re planning on using your toy in the bath, hot tub or jacuzzi, you want to make sure that the description or packaging says that it’s waterproof. If they come right out and say to use it in the bathtub, even better.

However, if it says “water resistant” or “splash proof” that usually means that if a little water happens to splash on it, either while cleaning it or because you used it in the shower, it should be fine.

Just don’t submerge the entire toy in water. So if you’re using a “splash proof” or “water resistant” vibe in the shower, don’t use it under the stream of water because that is ultimately submerging it and you may corrode the mechanics.

Also really inspect your toy when it arrives and trust your instincts, if it looks like things aren’t really sealed and protected, return it if that’s the only reason you bought it or keep it away from water.

If Privacy maters the most to you…

Many women these days not only desire, but demand discreteness in their sexual items and I’m so glad because now designers have to come up with ways to make their products more attractive and quiet.

Back in my day they didn’t offer such beautiful works of art and most vibrators were not quiet, some even sounded like you were using a power tool!

So these days, pretty and quieter is mostly what I’m looking for and now so are you. Again, there are lots of choices in this area and maybe because I’m a bit of a computer geek I felt compelled to recommend this one.

My Recommendation – LELO Nea


When I first showed my friends the Nea they thought it was a pretty mini computer mouse. Discreteness achieved! No one will know that you’re buzzing yourself to incredible orgasms with this lovely toy.

It’s also quiet too so you don’t have to worry about people in the next room overhearing your sexual escapades.

It comes in a plain, discreet, sturdy black box to store it, the recharging cord and the instructions so no one is the wiser.

I like the range of vibrations it offers, very mild to quite powerful. I think the power is a credit to the pointy tip. If you hold that part against your clit, the vibrations will feel even stronger because all that energy is concentrated and focused into that very small surface area.

It also fits nicely in the palm of my hand so whether I’m using it alone or with Hubby, it doesn’t get in the way of any other activities. It’s also small enough to toss into a purse or even your pocket.

I’m a fan of the constant, consistent vibrations and that’s normally the setting I use, but I also understand that there are many ladies that want a little more variety in their toy and the Nea does that and does it very well.

What’s different about the Nea is that Lelo designed the buttons in such a way that you won’t accidentally switch vibration modes at that all important point of reaching orgasm, giving you more control over your pleasure and we ladies like control.

Privacy Pro Tip

Many of the more luxury brands like LELO, Jimmy Jane, Njoy, Je Joue will provide either a box or a satiny bag for you to store your toy in allowing you to keep it hidden away with ease.

However, if you haven’t bought your toy from a company that provides that, you can keep your toy hidden away by wrapping it a cotton handkerchief so no fuzz, lint or dust sticks to your toy and sticking it in a drawer.

You can also purchase a little lock box or even get one of those special little sex toy pillows that has a secret compartment.

Go forth and shop for your perfect vibrator

So there you have it. Whether you’re looking for something powerful, something penetrable, something portable or something private, there’s a great toy available for you.

I really do enjoy each of these toys. I recommended each one after careful consideration out of the thousands available, so I hope that you’ll treat yourself to one of them.

Even if you don’t, it is my hope that you’ll take the 4 P’s, the information within and the tips I’ve shared with you as you continue your search.

Use this knowledge and really look at the product details and any reviews available, because I know that ultimately they will help you to better sort through all the hype and ultimately find something that meets your needs and desires.

See Also:

Confused by all the toys out there? Check out my Reviews.

Avatar photo
My name is Ann Andriani. Since 1999, I've helped millions of folks sort through their questions and curiosities about sex. I hope that you enjoy your stay with me and benefit from my thoughts and sex advice.