Treating Premature Ejaculation Without Creams and Pills

It’s one of the more unfortunate things that can happen to you during sex. You’re just getting to the good stuff and you ejaculate.  You’re thinking, “Shit, it’s too soon!” You feel really stressed, mostly because this isn’t the first time this has happened. You’re starting to wonder if you’re really satisfying your partner. Well, don’t fret. I’ve got some simple ideas to share that won’t take tons of work and practice. It’s just a matter having sex a little differently, and you’ll still be having a great time. Sounds good right? Let’s explore…

It’s probably not as bad as you think

After doing relatively exhaustive research, I have learned that most men, from the initial penetration of the vagina to orgasm, last about 3 minutes…7 minutes max. This time range does not count foreplay, only intercourse.  So if you’re lasting within that span of time, you’re perfectly normal.  Also keep in mind that there are many women who don’t want or need their men to thrust for hours on end. If she’s not unhappy with your performance, then why should you needlessly stress yourself? We’re human beings, not super humans. Before you continue to stress about it, let’s explore why this can happen.

Stress and anxiety are usually the major culprits

Whether you’re worried about keeping it up or just getting it up can be very problematic. If you put too much pressure on yourself to perform a certain way, and especially in an allotted period of time, it will most likely backfire. Sex sessions always vary. Some will be quickies and others will be marathons. Always keep your expectations realistic.  Anything other than that will always stress you out.  I do believe that it can be worse for men because you’re measurement of excitement is always in full view. If you’re not hard, your partner may be wondering why not. So there’s some serious pressure there anyway.

Find the source of your stress

If you’re worried about STDs or pregnancy, make sure you always use a condom, but don’t let the part of applying the condom keep you from staying hard. Keep the atmosphere sexy. Have your partner put on a masturbation show for you so you have something visually exciting happening while you’re putting on the condom. At least then the attention is on your partner and not on your penis.

Either that or maybe your partner can assist you with applying the condom. Personally, I’m for the visual show, because you should always make sure the condom is applied properly. Doing it yourself may be the best way.  Don’t let that part of sex ruin it. It’s something that has to be done, so have your supplies on hand and do it so it’s done. If you’re unfamiliar with applying a condom, make sure you do a bunch of times when you’re alone and the pressure isn’t on.  Once you’re comfortable and confident in applying the condom, you’ll have no trouble doing it during sex.

Stress and anxiety can also occur when having sex with a new partner. People aren’t just nervous their first time having sex. They do tend to get nervous with a new partner and if the relationship elevates to a new level. That can also put a little more stress on you to the be the sex God you’ve always dreamed of being.  So go easy on yourself. If this is the case, let you’re partner know that you’re a little nervous.  You’re into her, let her know about it.  It’s really very sweet and you’ll see that in time, you’ll get comfortable with your new relationship and things will proceed smoothly.

Teamwork! Teamwork!

If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s important that you tackle this situation as a team. The important thing is not to place any blame. As a couple, you’re a team and if someone on the team is experiencing difficulties, it’s up to the other member to show some support and help get through it. Most of the time, the man already feels ashamed, guilty or embarrassed about this situation.

It’s important that his partner not take it personally, not feel as if they’re doing anything wrong and not make the man feel as though he’s doing something wrong. This situation can be absolutely be dealt with and the couple can still experience a great sex life. The one thing to keep in mind is that it may only be a temporary situation. The more you both worry about it, the longer the problem can last.

Change the way you have sex

If you feel like you don’t last long enough then change the order of events during sex. By that I mean, don’t get involved in intercourse as quickly, or as early on. Really get your lover worked up in other ways, oral, manual, toy stimulation. When it seems like she’s getting close to orgasm, that’s when you have intercourse. Then hopefully you’ll be more satisfied with the amount of time you last. Now this may not work perfectly the first time, you have to get a feel for you and your lover, you’re timing, but it’s not impossible.  Plus, it’s easier than masturbating for days and weeks on end, trying to train yourself to last longer.

When you ejaculate are you able to get another erection within that same session? If you can, then you’re in good shape. Get that orgasm out during foreplay.  Get it out and get it over with. While you’re going through your refractory period, you can stimulate your partner in other ways, manually, orally, toys.

With all the excitement of her arousal and excitement, you should have no problem getting erect again. Once erect again, you can have intercourse. At this point, your partner should be ready for intercourse too. Many women enjoy long sessions of foreplay. In fact, there are many women, like myself, that really need long periods of foreplay before they’re aroused enough for intercourse. So this will actually be more satisfying to your partner and you may find that you last much longer the second time around.

Penis Rings for Premature Ejaculation

Cock Rings or Penis Rings are a safe/non-medicated way to maintain an erection. An added benefit is that with all the pressure that builds up while wearing one, when orgasm is achieved, some say it feels more intense.

The cock ring fits around the base of the penis and restricts blood flow out of the penis. It’s best to apply once a full erection is achieved. The ring should be placed snugly around the base of the penis. Make sure there is some tightness, but don’t strangle your penis.

I recommend the Leather Cinch. It’s a plain black leather strap with a friction buckle that you can pull as snug as you’re comfortable with. The important thing is that it also has a snap closure so that if you need to get out of it in a hurry, all you have to do is unsnap the snap. It’s very safe, rather attractive and works well too.

If you’re interested in trying one out, here are some rules to keep in mind when using a cock ring. (I ALWAYS mention these rules whenever I suggest cock rings. Safety first! )

  • Make sure it can be easily removed, no metal rings.
  • Don’t wear a cock ring for more than 30 minutes at a time.
  • Allow at least 60 minutes between uses.
  • Keep in mind that improper use can cause permanent injury or bruising at the base of the penis.
  • Techno Skin, Rubber or Jelly rings that slide on need lubricant for ease of applying and removing.

Some final thoughts

You may want to try taking the attention off your penis and stamina for a few sessions. The two of you can play together and concentrate on giving your partner pleasure. Bring your partner to orgasm without using your penis. Once you realize that your partner can be just as satisfied, you won’t be as stressed to keep an erection. 

I know you desire the intercourse and the bond it creates, however, the important thing is that you both enjoy each other when you’re together. As long as play doesn’t stop because of it, the two of you should get through this.

The ideas and techniques that I have shared here are things that my boyfriend and I have used in the past. Since they worked well for us I thought it would be beneficial to share these thoughts with you. Please keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to have sex as long as it’s safe, sane and consensual. The main goal of sex is to connect with your partner, have fun and enjoy each other’s bodies.

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Ann Andriani
My name is Ann Andriani. Since 1999, I've helped millions of folks sort through their questions and curiosities about sex. I hope that you enjoy your stay with me and benefit from my thoughts and sex advice.

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